I'm now in deeper then I realize. I don't care what happens to me or my life. My Boyfriend treats me like an object and is disrespecting me, as a woman. Didn't know it at the time. All I knew was someone is showing me some kind of care. Sleeping at his house, living off of sleeping pills and caffeine. Going through the motions of life and staying low and out of everyone else's way.
One day, I'm looking out the window at "D" house. He's out in the backyard kicking his soccer ball and accidentally kicks it into our yard. There is snow on the ground. I figure I would go out and hand him the ball back. On my way back into the house I'm met by my Step Father. He grabs me by my hair and yanks me into the house then throws me up against the stairs. My Mother NEVER hit us. The 2 times I remember she did, I deserved it. One swift swat on the backside for hurting one of my siblings. My Step-Father, on the other hand, regularly beat my older Brother and younger brother. We didn't find out till later in our life. My Step-Father then yells at me and tells me to never talk to "that boy" ever again. I ran into my room and hid under my bed for the next hour, till my mother came home. My Step-Father came into my room many times looking for me but didn't see me. When mom came home she was frantic wondering where I was. She came in a few times with him, so I didn't say anything. She then came in without him and started to cry. I then very softly said, "I'm here Mom". Came out from under the bed and told her what had happened. She became very angry. The next thing I knew she drove off with him in the car and came back without him. We didn't see him again for another week. My relationship with my step-father was never the same. Not that we ever had a relationship.
Not long after that, I became more brazen and stayed over at "D"s house later and later. One day Mom awoke early to me not in my bed. Phone calls were made to all the neighbors, including "D"s house. His Parents were out of town. I remember looking out the back window seeing all the lights on and then his phone ringing. My stomach fell into my feet. At first "D" lied to them because I begged him to. He then made up a story of seeing me walking passed his house then called him back. Step father and mom then drove to the house to pick me up. I was so grateful that mom was with him.
Later during the day, Mom pulled me aside to talk to me about "things that can happen" and how I need to be careful. I said "It's already too late" I have never seen my mother so angry! She slowly said "Who! Who was it!?" I told her. She then asked, "When?" When I told her when she stormed out of the house. She drove to "I"s house. Knocked on the door. Asked for "G". As soon as "G" came to the door she asked him to step out as she closed the door then slammed him up against the house and threatened his life. She then asked him and he admitted to everything. He thought she knew because his father said he would "Take care of it".
She forced him into the car and brought him over to our house. Mom then asked me to get into the car where "G" said "I thought you were asleep and didn't know what was happening." I refused to say much to him. What did he mean, I thought you were asleep?? I thought you were asleep???!! I wanted to hit him till he turned black and blue. Make him hurt as much as he hurt me all those years! But I did nothing but sit there. I don't remember if I said anything.
Mom then took him home and I went to my room and cried for hours! I was so angry at my Mother, My step father, "I", "G", "T".... Everyone who had any part of taking my childhood from me!
I never felt like justice was done. Any time I brought it up and wanted to talk about things, to heal, I was told to "Get over it", "Move on", "Grow up", Let it go!" Then the rumors started. I was someone that "liked to tell stories for attention. Don't listen to her she lies to give others a bad name." "I"s family started spreading those rumors to discredit me and hide what their son and brothers did. I never did tell anyone what happened to me unless I was asked. It was not something I liked to share.
The thoughts of suicide came back into my life. I wanted the pain to go away. Make it stop forever. I again, started to pop sleeping pills and down Mountain Dew to function. I wanted out!
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Update 11-6-12
It's amazing how things got covered up in that family. In an attempt to cover it all up Blaine Bowles and his wife lied to everyone. Only within the last 2 weeks I found out that Gary's then wife was not told the truth. She was lead to believe that I was making up stories. My heart goes out to her having to live with that man and his past. My heart also goes out to him and all the anguish he must have been living with and still continues to this day living with, covering this up. I'm no longer angry. I do pitty all of them that continue to live a lie, fearing every day any questions that may arise from their own and brothers past. My heart also goes out to his current wife and children. Please protect your daughters and anyone else that may come in contact with this man.
God has taken all the hate, vengeance and fear this family caused. I no longer fear seeing them in the store or the street. They have more to fear from me then I do them but don't want anyone to fear me. May God have mercy on them.
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