
I am a Child of God. I am a Daughter of God. At many points in my life, I dare not believe in such things. I questioned how a God could allow certain things to happen to his Child whom he loved so much. It's taken me years to come to a realization that He truly does love me.
I was born into a family who loved the Lord. My Mother who was previously married to another man, we will call him Dee, and was unable to give her a child. She longed to have children. She left this man because she found a Religion her Sister told her about and He didn't feel it was right. In this other church, she met a man who was married to her sister. This man also asked my Mother to marry him and they did. His name was John and the Religion she joined was Polygamy. Mother was his 9th wife out of 12. Not long after they married, my mother gave birth to her first child at the age of 26, My Older brother. Three years later she was blessed with a daughter. Myself. She was since blessed with 1 more child from the same man and 2 more children from another man as well as and 1 Angel who was born without life.

I had a Happy childhood living in the Blue and white house in Kearns Utah. We had a Dog that I loved! (He peed on the carpet and I blamed it on my older brother because mom said she would take him to the Pound if he didn't stop.) The Pound, in my mind, was a terrible, horrible thing where they would "pound" the animals dead... so I felt it was my job to protect our dog. Memories of crawling on our floor, pulling a small black and white TV off a dresser almost on top of my head. My Brothers electric race car track. He would never allow me to play with because I couldn't make the car stay on the track. A mattress in our basement, leaning against the wall, I would drive cars up and down on with one of my Half brothers, Johnny. Running across the street in nothing but a t-shirt while I was potty training to play with Kenny on his woodpile. Needless to say. I have very vivid memories of my childhood till after age 3.
I loved it when my father came home. I would climb up on the arm of the couch and jump into his arms. He would place me on his massage table to rub my neck and back. Then lift me up high in the air and then hug and kiss me. I will forever hold those precious memories dear to my heart.

Within my 2nd year, my Father committed Adultery with someone not given to him as a wife and left all of his wives and children, giving each wife the option to come with him. All 12 of them refused. My mother was left alone with 3 young children to raise. It was the last time I would ever see my father.
One day, these people started to show up at our house. Talking with my mother and bringing kids to play with me. On my 3rd Birthday, the house was full of strangers, staring at me and making me feel very uncomfortable. They all sang Happy Birthday to me and waited for me to blow out the candles on my huge, orange, Barbie cake. I refused to come out from behind my mother's legs.
Not long after that, I remember my mother packing our belongings into boxes and moving into a house not far from the one we lived in. She had remarried into another family where she was the 3rd wife. We all stayed in one room in the basement. This is where my memory of my childhood is vague and mumbled and for good reason! To this day I am still working through childhood issues.
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Update 11-5-12
I wish to add to this now that I have become New in Christ and found my Savior. I will clear it up that I was not a child of God. I was a Creation of God. He adopted me into the Family and Body of Christ after I accepted the one true and only Jesus Christ. Not a False Christ.
If you read John 1 you will see that "To all who believed Him (Jesus) to all who believed on His name, he gave the RIGHT to be called the children of God." Follow that up with John 8:44 where Jesus clearly states a separation between those who follow Him and those who dont. The ones who dont are called the Devils children! We ARE created in Gods image. He DOES love us all. Enough to die for us! But unless we choose to be adopted into Gods family... we aren't in it!!
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Update 11-5-12
I wish to add to this now that I have become New in Christ and found my Savior. I will clear it up that I was not a child of God. I was a Creation of God. He adopted me into the Family and Body of Christ after I accepted the one true and only Jesus Christ. Not a False Christ.
If you read John 1 you will see that "To all who believed Him (Jesus) to all who believed on His name, he gave the RIGHT to be called the children of God." Follow that up with John 8:44 where Jesus clearly states a separation between those who follow Him and those who dont. The ones who dont are called the Devils children! We ARE created in Gods image. He DOES love us all. Enough to die for us! But unless we choose to be adopted into Gods family... we aren't in it!!
I have read your whole blog and thank you very much for sharing your story! I think you are a very courageous person and commend you for sharing it with others.
ReplyDeleteIt's fun to hear that you'r memoreis are happy in your first three years, and so sad to hear that you had a tough time in your latter child hood. I wish we would have been closer sisters. My heart has always been with my brothers and sisters. although life has found a way to seperate us. I am so happy to find that you have found the True Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I think you are a beautiful woman that will stand firm to what you know is true and good, because of the path that you have trod. You go girl and don't let any thing stop you! love you! Bonnie
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are sharing! You will inspire so many ppl.
ReplyDeleteTaking the time to read each and every post I've made on this blog. I fought over deleting this blog and starting over but It's my journey. It's my life and it's my testimony. I will be commenting or adding to each and every post I've made with Biblical references where they fit to point out contradictions to hopefully help others who may read this see where I've been deceived and why I see it as deception.
ReplyDeleteWe need faith along with Knowledge. Not a blind Faith.
Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
You may never have actually seen a molecule, but you have no doubt that molecules exist. Even more to the point, we are confident that things like gravity, time, the laws of logic, and true love exist even though we cannot see them. Of course, experience and rational investigation should increase your confidence in what is true.
Romans 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.
2 Thessalonians 1:3 We are bound to thank God always for you, brethren, as it is meet, because that your faith groweth exceedingly, and the charity of every one of you all toward each other aboundeth;
Romans 10:17 So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.
Just because you pray for an answer to something and you receive a good feeling that that thing you prayed about is true doesn't make it true. We can't follow our feelings when it comes to knowledge. If your going to base your entire eternal salvation on a "Feeling" and those feelings contradict the truths that have already been given to us you may find yourself where I found myself. A world of confusion and contradiction. Questions without answers or answers that made no sense and only lead to more unanswerable questions.
Thank You For Your Blog, Andrea
ReplyDeleteI ran across it when I was Googling some information about your father and the UAB. I knew him; he was a junior high math teacher of mine. I only learned the "rest of the story" about ten years ago, and I'm maintaining my anonymity because of some "personal" ties of my own with that organization. I wound up a teacher myself, in English because after Ray and another teacher, the sciences ceased to hold my interest even though that's where my strongest aptitude was. Right now I do a fair amount of history writing about the LDS Church, and as someone we both probably know once said, "The way to understand 19th Century Mormonism is to study the 'fundamentalists.' I agree that the various sects, as awful and abusive as they are, are following the "teachings" of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young far more closely than the modern church.
I wish you well,
Hello concolor1,
DeleteIt's been a while since I've visited this place. Thank you for your kind reply. I whole heatedly agree with your last statement about studying the fundamentalists in order to truly understand 1900 Mormonism. They really are following Joseph and Brigham the closest.
I don't have many memories of my father and am glad he lives on through others. Somehow, the better parts of him live on and have influenced others. I've heard many good as well as many not so good things about him. I choose to hold onto the good for my own sanity. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts here. I wish you well.