Church is wonderful! Friends are great! Family... well not everything can be good.
Love the messages I'm learning at church but the main reason I'm going is to see the man I know I'm suppose to marry. I love his jokes and his laugh. The way he cares for me and cares about me. He drove from Herriman all the way to Kearns every Sunday to pick me up for Sunday school then to Church. I loved the long car rides we had. The time to talk and get to know each other more. Brian took me out to eat every Sunday. I was very underweight and felt I never got enough to eat at home. But I never said anything to him about it because I didn't know anything different.
Keep in mind, I'm now 14. He's 22. We didn't "date" yet but did go out on "Group Dates". My Step Father told Brian to promise him that he would not kiss me till I was 16. Brian took me to the circus, the fair, Lagoon, Afterglow concerts, Plays his best friend was in and many trips to Temple Square in Down town SLC. I was in heaven. We didn't do much as children so this was a new life with new fun things to discover! Brian truly opened up a new world for me.
One day, I was jumping in and out of my bedroom window, filling my water bed. Brian was in the room with me. I jumped in and smacked my knee on the window seal. It hurt so bad I could not stop crying! Brian was being such a wonderful gentleman. Consoling me then He said out of the blue! "I Love you!" I was totally taken back and my knee stopped hurting! I said "I love you too!" He then started saying things like "Why did I say that? I need to go." and was gone!! I was on cloud nine!!
I remember, it was Valentines Day. I'm a month and a half from my 15th Birthday. Brian picks me up to take me out on a "Group date" to see Afterglow, Love notes. He has balloons, flowers and black hills gold necklace waiting for me after the concert. I felt so overwhelmed! I grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek, remembering his promise to my Step-father. Then looked into his eyes and kissed him on his lips. He didn't kiss me back and I understood why.
The next day was the Valentines Day Dance down at "The Building" (The church house we attended) Brian picked me up and we drove to his house in Herriman. There, he got ready for the dance and we got a bite to eat. It was that day, that we kissed for the first time!
It was a wonderful time on our lives! I was glad we broke that promise Brian made to my step-father and even more glad later on!
Brian picked me up for another Dance where you dressed up in 60's clothing. (I'm now 16 years old) Brian stopped off at one of the other Mothers homes to talk to Step-father. I sat in the car as they talked. Brian got into the car and told me he was concerned about something step-father told him. Step Father said that Brian was to good for me and I didn't deserve him. Brian then counters with "I'll be the judge of that." He then got into the car and went on telling me how I needed to treat step-father better and treat him like the "Patriarch" He is. My next comment was "Then he needs to ACT like one"
That drive to the dance, Brian received an earful! He now understood why I had such a cold relationship with my step-father and why I've said some of the things I said about him. Tears flowed as I brought Brian into our dark family life. I prayed It would not scare him away. He still knows nothing of my personal dark past.
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