As I was reading the scriptures I was really focusing on D&C 132. I had a testimony of Plural Marriage so.. if I know it was true how could I not live it? I was reading it word for word, verse by verse and studying each word. I was praying for clarity as I read it. I started to understand that this was given to Joseph Smith, directly! These were his Promises. HIS Tests. HIS blessings! Again! I learned that the "Group" was taking the scriptures out of context. Thankfully, Brian started seeing it too.
There were a lot of people "Studying" at this time and leaving the "Group". A lot of other people were asking questions and none were getting answers. Brian was on board...kind of.. and went to one of these classes with me. He had his own questions he needed answered as well. At these classes.. One thing Brian and I both noticed how they never actually answer the question. They would tell a story about so-n-so and his experience and literally dance all around the question, never answering it.
I was struggling with blacks and the priesthood. How Children were allowed to partake of the sacrament before they were baptized. The changing of the Garments over time and many other teachings that didn't match the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The group claimed to have the same pattern of the Garments that Adam and Eve wore. My Sister in Law has someone in her new ward that knew someone that had Hyrums Garments. The ones he wore when he was shot and was going to be at her ward one evening. I had to see with my own eyes. They were Red long underwear. NOTHING like what the group had. NOTHING!
Over time and through reading the scriptures, mainly the book of Mormon, all of my questions were answered and I realized that the others didn't matter! We joke about worrying about which side of the gate the hinge is on. The gate still opens up. Does it matter which side the hinge is on?
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Update 11-9-12
After Joining the LDS church I still struggled with the fact that a Loving God would deny his own "Children" his priesthood because of a color. Was he really that racist? What of the 2nd Article of Faith? We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression... Why are they then being punished for something their ancestors did?
I still struggled with the garment changes, Temple ordinance changes, Why the LDS didn't teach earlier doctrine if the "prophet" that spoke it said it was a fundamental principle and one couldn't make it to the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom without it? Then one day, it was wiped out, removed, and didn't matter. And ohhhh, don't bring up Adam God, Polygamy, Blood Atonement, Joseph Smiths many wives..let alone his 14 year old Brides and the women that were married already. Brigham Young and his many wives... and why many of the Prophets still lived Polygamy even after the Manifesto. (Yes.. these questions, and more are what I asked my Bishops and Stake presidents till I was finally threatened by one of my Stake presidents that "If you purse this course, you will be filled with the spirit of the Devil and fall away from the Restoration.")
I had way to many questions without answers but I decided to instead bury my head in the sand after the last threat from my Stake President, and set it all on the shelf.
Any religion that can't handle some straight forward questions and be able to give some straight forward answers to those questions must have a very unstable foundation or have a lot to hide.
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